In this text, I want to address two of the most frequently asked questions on this topic in my practice: If my ex went back to their ex—will it last? and Will he or she miss me after going back to their ex? We’ll explore human nature and how it functions in these situations.

Wondering if your ex’s rebound with their ex will stand the test of time? The odds aren’t in their favor. And if it lasts, someone seriously suffers in that relationship. Only a small percentage of such relationships work.

To the second question: Will they miss you, the answer is: You probably will. In order to understand all this better, we must first:

Understanding Why They Went Back to Their Ex

While you might be inclined to think that it’s all about their undying, unbeatable love, the reasons people return to their exes are usually more down-to-earth. And anything that doesn’t fall under psychological conditions (such as the delusion that their ex is their soulmate or something similar) can be explained.

Feeling of Inferiority

When two people break up, it’s usually because:

• One person rejected the other. In the case of your ex, let’s assume they were the ones who got rejected.
• One person has shown no interest in reconciliation for an extended period.

These events create a feeling of inferiority in the person who was rejected or who isn’t wanted back in the relationship.

The rejecting person sends the message: “You’re not valuable enough for me to be in a relationship with you. You’re nothing special, or even worse, you’re inadequate.” This is incredibly painful for our ego, which always wants us to be brilliant and to be accepted and approved by others.

• I emphasize: egos are not vanity and pride as conventionally interpreted. Ego is a psychological phenomenon, an entity that wants to keep us good and proud of ourselves, but not out of pride, but because it is our self-preservation.

This is why people go back to their exes in order to:

• Prove to them that they are actually great
• Destroy that feeling of inferiority
• Comfort their wounded ego

Never forget that the ego is one of our most significant drives, one that often controls us.

Partner Chose Someone Else

That Person Is Familiar and Emotionally Close

Human nature always gravitates toward what’s familiar. Throughout human history, familiar things have been the safest, which is why we always return to them. You must understand that this is a strong drive in human nature—the need for security to survive.

So, when people feel the urge to return to their ex-partners, this powerful drive is at work within them.

• And of course, it has nothing more to do with survival than with our prehistoric psyche.

This drive operates unconsciously and is part of our nature. (As children, we would run to our parents, even children whose parents were not fair to them. It’s so natural.).

However, reality eventually proves whether a familiar place is really the best place for us.

Also, don’t forget—you have become a familiar place by now, too.

Partner Falls In Love With Someone Else – What To Do

Manipulation by That Person

For those of you who have experienced your partner being seduced by their ex, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

It’s interesting how some people don’t seem interested in others until someone else shows an interest in them.

Of course, human nature explains this: whatever more people want tends to have greater value.

This concept can explain many behaviors. And never forget that people don’t always act based on critical or logical thinking; rather, they are often driven by instincts, emotions, and ideas.

That’s why, when no one touches the things they’ve discarded, those things seem unimportant to them.

However, when someone else shows interest in their “toy,” suddenly they discover its value (although only temporarily). But since we’re talking about toys, isn’t this childish behavior? A child discards a toy, but the moment another child wants it, they have to have it again).

Then comes serious and intense manipulation from the ex to reclaim the “toy.”

I repeat: this is only temporary. When the third person (in this case, you) loses interest in their ex, the “toy” can be thrown back into the sandbox and forgotten.

Unresolved Feelings

Unresolved feelings are tied to a person’s deep emotional world, which is connected to deep-rooted childhood experiences and habitual patterns tied to certain emotions.

If your ex’s ex provided a particular set of emotions to your ex, they might still have a need for those emotions to be resolved in some way.

To clarify:

• Your ex’s relationship with their ex might remind them of a past relationship. Since that relationship ended, some of its negative aspects (arguing, disagreement, and differences) likely remind them of a past dynamic. Maybe their parents fought, didn’t get along, or were very different yet functioned together, so your ex might imagine love similarly.

• The breakup and rejection might also remind them of past rejection they experienced (someone rejected them in some way before). Both of these scenarios seek a better resolution. We are always searching for a better emotional outcome, aiming to resolve some deep-seated pain we’ve carried within us.

Now that we know this, we can say that your ex…

Specific Things To Do When Partner Falls In Love With Someone Else 1.

Idealization

This is a mechanism often used by immature people. Idealization is the need to attribute only good qualities to a person while ignoring their bad ones.

Some people have a psychological need to idolize and idealize someone to maintain their sense of inferiority. Once again, this ties back to early life experiences (childhood and adolescence), where a sense of inferiority was instilled and nurtured in the family dynamic.

This is why an ex who rejected them can successfully maintain the image of the “perfect person”: they recreate that childhood feeling of rejection. And let’s not forget: parents are idealized—if they reject us, it means the person who rejects us in life will be ideal too (which, as you can see, leaves a lot of room for manipulation by the ex).

However, idealization sooner or later leads to complete devaluation for most people (if they manage to get the object of their desire). That’s when all positive traits are stripped away, and the focus is only on the negatives.

We count on this happening.

Pressure From External Factors (Family, Friends, etc.)

This is also common. A person may not even want to reconcile with their ex or be ambivalent about it, but those around them convince them that their ex is the best option.

In this case, the person might:

• Ultimately, they choose their path and end the relationship again, this time with the justification: “We tried again, and it didn’t work.”
• Stay in the relationship but develop resentment toward their partner.
• Fantasize or potentially cheat with the person they truly want, even though society doesn’t see that person as ideal.
• Convince themselves that it is, after all, the best choice.

To be clear, the path your ex chooses (if this is their situation) depends on their character and internal emotional-psychological world. But never forget that if this is the case with your ex, they are likely easily influenced by people who are either easily manipulated or have a significant figure in their life who dictates their choices. In other words, they lack their own opinion and judgment.

How to Manage a Partner Who Has Fallen In Love With Someone Else

Signs Their Relationship Might Not Last

Unchanged Personalities

You can expect two people who haven’t changed to continue doing the same things. Character traits don’t change unless a conscious decision is made, and even then, it takes years to truly transform one’s character.

If only a short time has passed between your ex’s previous relationship and reunion, the chances that these people have changed are close to zero. And even if years have passed, unless a deliberate decision to change was made, the likelihood of real change is still close to zero.

So, you can expect that two unchanged people (your ex and their ex) will continue to do the same things, and we all know that these things led to their breakup in the first place.

Lack of Trust

The broken trust further complicates the situation.

1. They’ve already been apart, which tells them, “So, you can leave me whenever you want? You can live without me? And you didn’t need to come back quickly? Okay, noted.”

2. In the meantime, you entered the picture: “What does that person mean to you? Why did you choose them over me?” These are all questions their ex is likely asking themselves or your ex.

3. Who showed up in that person’s life during the break? Who were they in a relationship with?

4. Will you leave me again? How can I ever trust you?

As you can see, there are a lot of elements here that lead to doubt and mistrust. Each of these thoughts is too heavy to carry in a relationship. So, the chances are slim if you imagine that your ex and their ex-now-current partner are enjoying bliss together. Each of them is likely turning some of these thoughts over in their minds, and that’s not exactly enjoyable.

How to Keep Your Dignity in Relationship

Your Influence

You were a good partner.

You gave a lot to your ex. You didn’t end things badly (you didn’t threaten them or damage their car).

Tell me, how could your ex not miss some of that?

With the person they’re with now, they’ve already broken up once. So, they didn’t get something they needed from them, or that person wasn’t fair to them in some way.

Isn’t it logical that they would compare that person to you, with whom things went smoothly?

Here, you can expect a constant struggle between the subconscious (This love reminds me of my parents’ relationship. That’s why I need it.) and the conscious (I want a happy and harmonious relationship for myself).

If their ex-now-current partner continues to behave the same way, and if your ex has matured even a little, their chances of breaking up again are very high.

Guilt

Guilt is a matter of the superego. People who have one (and everyone has one to some extent) don’t want to be bad. Their superego says, “This is how things should be done.” You should be righteous, not hurt others. You should maintain a good image of yourself, etc.

If your ex left you and hurt you, you can count on their guilt and self-questioning, which can seriously affect their current relationship.

Interestingly, this intense guilt can be so hard to bear that people often need to find someone to blame for it. And the blame rarely falls on themselves; it’s more often placed on the person who “made” them leave you and return to them. This can lead to resentment and even hatred towards their current partner, (who is also their ex). In any case, it creates doubt about their good intentions.

Partner Broke Up With You—What Are Your Solutions?

Your Progress

You’re making progress. I’m not the first to say that success is the best revenge, but in this case, we’re not talking about revenge; we’re talking about showing them what they lost.

This is a phenomenon. I mentioned earlier the ego that wants us to be the best. And now, suddenly, the person who wants us is becoming a better version of themselves.

We have two parameters:

• This person already wanted us once, so we have a chance with them.
• They’ve become better—they’re progressing.

Did we make a mistake? This new (old) thing I have is becoming familiar and not so special. Did we mess up?

Make sure you grow and progress in every possible area, especially those that matter to your ex.

People value what they recognize as important. If your ex values a specific physical appearance—you know your path. If they value academic achievements—you know your path, and so on.

This conveniently leads me to the following topic:

Will They Miss Me After Going Back to His Ex?

The Impact of Comparison

There’s an old question: Can we truly desire something we already have?

For most people, the answer is No. It’s more typical for people to start noticing flaws and imperfections in what they already possess.

Similarly, it’s common for people to idealize the things they don’t have.

So, alongside your personal growth, you can also count on the possibility that your ex will start idealizing you. Of course, add fuel to the fire by openly becoming the best version of yourself.

Use mutual friends and social media to show off who you’ve become.

Also, remember that disagreements will arise between your ex and their new partner, like in any relationship. Those are the moments when they’ll think about you intensely and realize they made a mistake.

The Fastest Way to Get Your Ex Back

The Role of Time and Distance

These two factors cause things, events, and people to lose their negative aspects and gain more positive ones.

You’ve heard of people desperately wanting to move away from their home country, only to start idealizing it once they’ve left. Everything back home seems better, warmer, and more beautiful.

The same happens with people.

Negative memories fade, and the idealization of things from our past begins.

And don’t worry, our dear brain has another fun function: it suppresses all the negative aspects of your relationship with your ex, bringing only the best memories to the surface.

Do You Know What Drew Your Ex Back to Their Ex?

Do exactly that. The same thing.

At the beginning of this text, I discussed how people are emotionally drawn to familiar things that they subconsciously desire, etc.

I won’t repeat that, but I will give you specific instructions instead.

• If your ex was ignored by their ex, that’s likely part of the reason they went back. Do exactly that.

• If their ex seduced them—do exactly that.

• If their ex hurt them in some way—do exactly that.

Subconsciously, your ex wants that, so that’s what you should give them.

And then, they’ll start missing you.

The Best Way To Make Someone Regret Leaving You

Moving Forward: Should You Wait or Let Go?

A combination of both.

Use all these strategies, but also keep moving forward.

In this text, I’ve given you enough material to stop idealizing that person, so you can start devaluing them a bit. But I’ve also given you enough suggestions on how to keep them close.

So here’s my suggestion:

• If you need to get that person back, do whatever it takes to bring them back from these elegant, subtle manipulations to all your progress and growth.

• Simultaneously, keep moving forward and see what else is out there. You’ve brought that person down a notch in your mind, so now you can see if there’s something better out there. And there always is. There’s always someone who isn’t obsessed with their ex but will be obsessed with you and won’t leave you for some illusion.

• There’s a saying: “First come, first served.” Whatever opens up and becomes clear first—that should be your choice. If it’s your ex who comes back, maybe they deserve a second chance because they’ve woken up. If it’s someone new—even better.

But don’t stand still while someone else’s life moves forward.

We don’t know how or when things will end between your ex and their ex. Giving their relationship more months or years of your life doesn’t make sense when you’ve already been left and hurt.

At the end of the day, how unique can someone be if they’re so easily swayed, driven by their unconscious desires, and return to something that already didn’t work once before?

It seems to me that they’re not all that special after all.

I hope this text has been helpful to you.