The main reason for a sudden break up without an apparent cause often lies in something that happens unconsciously to the person. Within this, however, also lies the possibility of reconciliation.

The text below delves into psychology and the forces that drive us. These forces are key to understanding why people do things without explanations. It might sound a bit unusual, but that is general psychology. And if you are looking for concrete, real-life reasons why a breakup can happen suddenly, this is the blog-post for you Reasons For Sudden Breakups.

But even behind these reasons, there is still a subconscious that you will read about in the text.

Entity No. 1: Our Unconscious Mind

Our subconscious mind controls our decisions. He decides whether we will stay with someone or leave him.
That’s why we have to explain how it was formed.

It’s built from millions of pieces of information:

• Negative: relationships are bad, people will hurt you, life is terrifying, everyone is your enemy
• Positive: life is good and easy, everyone will love you, you should be relaxed and happy, you’re brave and can solve everything, etc.
• Neutral: The most attractive women are ________ , I don’t like people who _________, I want ________ in my life etc.
• And completely hidden information that got there who knows when and who knows how and marked us.

📍 Someone told you when you were two years old that you would be a doctor and you decide to study medicine. You don’t remember it, but it’s a seed that was planted and it grew into a decision.
Yes, this is really how it works.

And this applies to practically every piece of information that we have ever absorbed and that was incorporated into our subconscious and remained there to send us information about the world around us.

Unconscious part of us has been built over the whole life so that we can imagine it as solid and stable. Until we change it 😉.

The formula for calculating our Unconscious Mind is:
The person’s age x 365 days x how much information fits into one day.
Ultimately, it manifests as our formed personality, with ideas, needs, thoughts, etc.

And now let’s assume that in the unconscious part of us there is some reason why the person does not want a relationship or wants a certain type of relationship (similar to the relationship of their parents, for example, who were constantly fighting).

And again: yes, it really works that way.

Entity No. 2: Our Conscious Mind

Conscious Mind as a new, much smaller entity.

The conscious part developed later and is therefore not as dominant. Also, in the conscious part, we do not deal with stored information but with information we are aware of at the moment. Allegedly (there is a story) in the conscious part we can handle/manage 40 pieces of information simultaneously.

In our conscious part we always want the best for ourselves. Ego plays a role here, but we will not overcomplicate the story.

Whoever you ask what they want for themselves, they will tell you: I want to be healthy, I want a good relationship, and I want to be successful. Unfortunately, not everyone is successful and in good relationships, even though they want to be.

And this is the moment when we can say that in the conscious part we want the best for ourselves, but since we know that the unconscious part is much more powerful, we can assume that it will control us.

That is, we will be governed by what is in it and what is predominant.

If someone is not in a good relationship – it certainly means that in the unconscious part they probably do not want a good relationship for some reason.

So, we can consciously want a good relationship and a happy ending for ourselves, but if our unconscious is overloaded with certain (negative) types of information, we will have to avoid relationships, whatever they may be.

This clearly explains why you see people constantly choosing the same type of partner, why they stay in relationships where their partner is not fair to them, why they are single… and perhaps why sudden break up happens.

What Causes Obsession With a Certain Person

So, Why Sudden Break Up Happens?

A Short Description Of a Relationship

In the first few months, everything went well in your and that person’s relationship. The person is very interested in the relationship. It’s a healthy and natural need to belong to someone. Also, you behave well and that person was happy with you. Due to that enthusiasm in those first few months, the part of the person which wants a relationship (Conscious Mind) is predominant and ready to bond.

Your presence, compatibility with person, hormones, excitement, your wonderful personality, and other factors provide additional fuel in the first few months.

However, after just two months, the hormonal status changes and the excitement about the new person diminishes, so the conscious part (the part of the person that wants a relationship) weakens. The unconscious part is now again stronger and more pronounced.

And here we come to what lies in the unconscious part of person. Could it be fears about relationships? Contempt for women? Men? Suspicion? Inability to be in a relationship? Or are there some more positive things?

Why do I want someone who doesn’t want me?

For the purposes of the story, we will say that the partner unconsciously thinks that love is an unsustainable thing (because no one in their family was happy in love).

So great things happen between you and your partner, but this predominant (Unconscious Mind) part wins out. And the person is constantly filled with fear.

A person has to wash away what is constantly whispering to them unconsciously. And because of this, the person leaves you; this fearful (Unconscious Mind) part of them, which governs them, has won.

You know the relationship was supposed to last, but it didn’t stand a chance against this predominant, unconscious part of the person.

What is the best way to gain self-confidence?

Sudden Break Up Happens Because You Don’t Fit Into Their Beliefs About Love

The weaker part of them (the Conscious Mind) loves you and wants you around. It think you’re the best person in the world, and it admires you. But because of that predominant (Unconscious Mind) part of themselves, love is too scary for that person. These are imaginary fears (thoughts, beliefs, etc.), but they are valid for them.

And what’s worse, they are not aware of them either and therefore cannot recognize and acknowledge it. Neither to you nor to yourself.

And that’s why, if you ask them what they want from life, they say: I want a good relationship.
But you had a good relationship with me?! What was wrong? We were happy.

And then the person invents some logical or semi-logical reason why they had to break up with you, completely unaware that they was actually controlled by her unconscious, which for some reason is afraid of relationships.

📌 Of course, you can take any trait that is built into a person’s unconscious.

Let’s say the person is spoiled, lazy, too social, lacks energy, lives for their hobby, has a close relationship with their mother or father (Oedipus and Electra complexes), believes there shouldn’t be children, doesn’t believe in marriage, loves their freedom, doesn’t want commitments, is focused on work… choose anything here.

• The background to this and where it comes from are other matters, but for the purposes of this article, this is sufficient.

Whatever you choose will outweigh the love the person feels for you because it’s the predominant part of them.

I took the influence of family as an example, but strong needs and beliefs can be built individually or under the influence of other people.

Carl Gustav Jung said: People don’t have ideas; ideas have people.

In a Relationship, Our Long-Built Inner World Will Always Win

No matter who comes along, their beauty and influence will not stand a chance because they last too short and require a change in the entire inner world, i.e., beliefs.

So if someone leaves you and you know they love you, it’s because their inner world (their Unconscious Mind) has won and you didn’t fit their needs.

The conscious part of them might strongly desire you, think you’re the best person in the world, and admire you… but you need to know what lies within the person and what will ultimately prevail.

📌 Remember: you can’t know what’s going on inside that person, and your weak influence might win out over the years by injecting new information and strengthening entity number 2 (Conscious Mind). But there’s no guarantee for this because entity number 1 (the Unconscious Mind) can be so significant and essential to the person that nothing can ever defeat it.

How To Use This After a Sudden Break Up to Get Back Into a Relationship

As I mentioned, this is where the solution to your reconciliation lies. To reconcile with someone after a sudden breakup, it is essential to understand what is happening in that person’s inner world—and to give them what they need.

• I believe you now understand why good girls and guys sometimes lose partners who later end up with people who treat them poorly.

To understand what the person (or rather, their unconscious) needs, take a moment to observe and recall:

1. Their previous partners with whom they stayed for a long time (but focus on real stories, not made-up or embellished ones),
2. Their parents and how they behaved during that person’s childhood, and
3. The people they follow and admire.

When you learn this information, you should aim to become exactly what they find attractive and familiar.

Of course, I recommend withdrawing for a while so that your partner can forget you (at least the previous version of you that they rejected). After that (three months of withdrawal or more), you can return in a new light. How to get your ex back – Detailed steps

The good news is that they already liked you once. They saw something in you that they wanted, but it turned out that something they indeed (unconsciously) desired was missing.

So, don’t panic about this separation and sudden breakup. There’s still a chance for reconciliation. But you must become what your ex wants.

The other option, of course, is to understand this lesson and decide to give up on your ex because of it.

After all, who knows what it is that they truly (unconsciously) want? Imagine if they want someone argumentative? Or someone polyamorous? Or someone who will reject them?

If you don’t want to become that, I believe this blog post has guided you well. You’ve realized that it’s not about who you are but rather about who you are not. And that could be something very problematic.

In that case, the sudden breakup is good news for you.

Love you. Dee

A more practical approach to the same topic: Why Would Someone Who Loves me Leave Me?