As a psychologist specializing in profiling and personality types, I have identified seven types of people who are likely to cheat (some of them cheat situationally). Additionally, for each type, I will discuss what to look out for, what you can do to prevent them from cheating (or at least not cheating again), and the likelihood of recurrence.
Short answer: Certain personality types and life events make people more prone to cheating (though this doesn’t mean they will necessarily do so). If you are in a relationship with a Narcissist, Sociopath, Borderline, or a naturally Dissatisfied partner, the chances of being cheated on are higher. Insecure partners, those with trauma histories, and people in midlife crises or life transitions have a basis for cheating, but you can take steps to prevent it. Here is how.
I emphasize that I will give you suggestions and advice on how to stay with these types of partners and how to prevent them from scamming you (again). This doesn’t mean I think you should stay, but if they are your choice, and my role is to provide you with suggestions on how to do so.
A warning: some of you may find the content and advice in this text extreme and immoral, but we are discussing methods that yield results, not those that are moral. Ultimately, it’s your life, and you decide about it what you are ready to do and what not.
Note: We describe extreme cases, but these characteristics can appear to a lesser extent in other people.
1. Narcissistic Personalities
By now, you likely know if you’re living with a narcissistic person. To clarify, everyone has some level of immature narcissism, but here we’re talking about extremes. If your partner exhibits the following behaviors conspicuously, it’s likely you have a relationship with a narcissist.
How to Recognize a Narcissistic Personality:
- They never get enough admiration. The more people admire them (want to be with them), the happier they are.
- They don’t care about others’ opinions unless it benefits their narcissism. Thus, they won’t care if their partner complains.
- An exaggerated sense of self-importance: they believe they have special privileges, thinking, “I can have multiple partners at once.”
- They tend to hurt those who oppose them: complaining about their cheating is opposition, and they’ll feel the need to punish you.
- They’re always right, and others are always to blame.
- They never do what the other person wants.
What to Look Out For:
- Does your partner expect you to do many things for them?
- Do they always find excuses for themselves?
- Do they ever apologize or feel guilty?
- Do they think they’re better than everyone else?
- If you recognize these traits in your partner, you might be dealing with a narcissist.
What You Can Do:
Since it’s likely that such a person will cheat on you (again), my honest advice is either to leave such a partner or adapt to the fact that their majesty can have multiple partners or people they flirt with. Additionally:
- Completely preoccupy your partner’s attention with things that benefit them.
- Diminish others in their eyes. Remember, narcissists share their uniqueness and presence only with the exceptional. So, if you belittle someone else in the right way, you can get the narcissist to see them as unworthy of their attention.
- Do even more exceptionally good things for the narcissist.
- Make yourself exceptional. Do something prestigious in your narcissist’s eyes, giving them proof that they are extraordinary (like you). Try to become a recognized or famous person in some way.
- Don’t criticize the narcissist too much, because they will remember it and retaliate. Remember, they are narcissists. They can’t stand criticism and will always find a way to make you wrong.
Chances your partner will never cheat again: Extremely low, but with these efforts and persistence, you can significantly delay their inclination to cheat.
2. Individuals with Antisocial Personality Disorder (Sociopaths)
You likely know if you’re dealing with a sociopath, but you might not know that their behavior has a name: antisocial behavior. If you recognize some of these traits in your partner who has cheated on you, you might be in a relationship with a sociopath.
Main Characteristics:
- Lack of conscience, morality, and ethics. It is easily recognizable by how the person behaves in the external world.
- They thrive in societies without rules and norms. They feel at home there.
- Manipulative. They will do anything immoral to achieve their goals.
- Shallow emotions.
- Defiance of social rules. Sociopaths will gladly destroy someone else’s property, take something that isn’t theirs, etc.
What to Look Out For:
- Do they glorify immoral, unethical norms of behavior?
- Do they feel guilt when they wrong someone (best determined by observing how the partner behaves towards someone who isn’t you)?
- Are they indifferent when something terrible happens to someone? For instance, when someone is abused or robbed.
- Have they spent all your money?
What You Can Do:
More of an advice would be to embrace their values and act as if having multiple partners (cheating) is expected. Additionally, you can:
- Become similar to them in the way they perceive cheating (not in personality) and start participating in their actions.
- Maybe turn their actions (cheating) into something acceptable to you, like partner swapping or something similar.
Chances your partner will never cheat again: Extremely low.
Sexting, Texting, Flirting and Other Types of Cheating
3. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder
If your partner is borderline, you might not know that their behavior has a name and that there is currently no evidence of curing this personality type. Borderlines are recognizable by their primary characteristics.
Main Characteristics:
- Fear of abandonment: Because they fear abandonment, they cheat:
- We need to have a backup if the partner leaves.
- They can’t let them go when they flirt with someone, so they go all the way.
- Intense emotions: If your partner is very dramatic or very… Actually, with such people, there is no middle ground. Everything. Either very good/excellent! or very bad/terrible. Horrible.
- Unstable relationships: with family and friends. Not in a way that they once had a falling out, but in a way that they constantly break up and makeup, leave and return, love and fight. Constantly.
- Seek excitement: they can’t be calm with their thoughts but are very active and on the move.
- Don’t plan long-term: They are typically impulsive and don’t have big plans for the future, which is unclear to them.
- Impulsiveness.
Because of these characteristics, they are prone to cheating. They can idealize someone suddenly, impulsively decide to sleep with someone, try one partner, then switch to another, then return to the first one (like with friends and family).
What to Look Out For:
- Have you broken up and reconciled with your partner many times?
- Has your partner idealized you one moment and then called you the worst the next?
- Does your partner make impulsive decisions that can affect their life stability (e.g., spending all their money at once)?
- Is your partner quarrelsome?
What You Can Do to Prevent Your Partner from Cheating:
- Reject this partner and allow them to have their fear of rejection work in your favor. This could make them follow you.
- Act as if you are much better than them. Remember, they are very prone to idealization.
- Satisfy their impulsiveness in other ways: give them opportunities to spend money, for instance. Or to travel.
Chances your partner will never cheat again: Very low. Everything we’ve mentioned can prevent them from cheating, but as soon as an opportunity arises to satisfy their impulsive urge again, they will do it.
Can Someone Who Loves You Cheat on You?
4. Dissatisfied Individuals
Do you have a constant complainer by your side? Or does your partner always find fault with what you do, their life, or other people? If so, you might be dealing with a cheater.
Their Main Characteristics:
- Dissatisfaction with the relationship, their job, and their life.
- Dissatisfaction with you, your parents, and friends.
- Dissatisfaction with themselves makes cheating an escape from their thoughts and feelings and a way to confirm their attractiveness or desirability.
- Unmet needs that they continually talk about, hoping someone else will fulfill these needs.
What to Watch For:
It’s pretty obvious. If your partner is dissatisfied with you, they will likely eventually seek someone better. Or if they are dissatisfied with themselves, they will look for someone who will assure them that they are still okay.
What You Can Do to Prevent Being Cheated On:
- Give them what they want now: Don’t expect much from this; they will likely find faults in what they receive, but they might be grateful for a short while.
- Don’t worry too much: These people quickly become dissatisfied with new partners they’ve cheated with.
- Fulfill their long-term needs: First, communicate their needs and agree on specific conditions for their fulfillment. Make it clear you expect satisfaction when these needs are met.
Chances your partner will never cheat again: Relatively high, because they quickly lose enthusiasm for people. They tend to devalue others quickly.
Relationship With Someone Who Cheated on You – How to Do It
5. Insecure Individuals
These individuals are prone to cheating because they often lack integrity and are easily influenced. They seek external validation of their worth, so they often embrace it when someone shows interest in them.
- To be clear, not all insecure people are prone to cheating.
Their Main Characteristics:
- They need to improve their self-esteem so anyone who compliments them is welcome in their life.
- They struggle with low self-confidence, needing external proof of their worth.
- Fear of rejection because they believe they aren’t good enough for their partner leads them to look for someone else as a backup.
- Their environment easily influences them. If someone around is cheating, it could be them
- They claim their partner will leave or cheat on them, sabotaging the relationship.
- They have difficulty forming emotional connections and fear intimacy, focusing on their emotional pain. They feel safer in superficial relationships.
What to Watch For:
- Does your partner seek validation from others about their desirability, intelligence, and attractiveness through their appearance or behavior?
- Does your partner frequently predict that you will leave them?
What You Can Do to Prevent Being Cheated On:
- Provide massive amounts of validation: Become their endless and primary source of self-confidence.
- Position yourself as an essential and valuable figure: Use this authority to instill certain truths (e.g., “Cheating is a sign of low IQ”). Insecure people tend to believe in authoritative figures.
- Manipulate them: You can use their insecurities to your advantage.
- Punish them by leaving: Make them fear losing you.
Chances your partner will never cheat again: If you position yourself correctly, you can genuinely prevent cheating with this profile.
Is It Worth Staying With a Cheater?
6. Individuals with a History of Trauma or Relationship Issues
If their traumas are unresolved, their past experiences remain relevant today, influencing their behavior. They might mimic a figure from their traumatic experiences or lack faith in stable relationships.
Another reason for cheating is a tendency towards destructive behavior observed throughout their lives.
Their Main Characteristics:
- Distrust.
- Problems with intimacy cause cheating. But because everyone needs closeness, if they don’t get it from you, it must be your fault (it’s undoubtedly not theirs). They seek closeness elsewhere when you don’t provide it.
- Problems with fidelity and trust due to life models repeatedly proving that no one can be trusted.
- Inability to connect emotionally, having learned to shut off emotions because they were once very painful.
- Emotional immaturity is stuck in the role of a child with a child’s emotional needs.
- Inability to confront problems maturely, often turning to cheating to escape unpleasant situations.
- Impulsiveness and the need to satisfy emotional needs instantly.
What to Watch For:
- Your partner’s history and whether they have undergone therapy or successfully processed their past traumas.
What You Can Do to Prevent Being Cheated On:
- Provide a safe emotional haven.
- Ensure they get psychotherapy.
- Teach them new skills: trust, loyalty, honor, and belonging.
Chances your partner will never cheat again: If they undergo adequate psychotherapy, the chances are high that your partner won’t cheat.
Hypothetically, you and your family could create a therapeutic environment and teach this person new values and skills. It’s always possible they are tired of carrying their past traumas.
How to Get Back in a Relationship with Someone Who Cheated 1.
7. People in Midlife Crisis
People going through this might cheat to confirm their attractiveness or sense of youth.
Their Main Characteristics:
- Introspection and self-reflection.
- Changes in life priorities.
- They need to prove themselves or achieve unfulfilled goals.
- Sense of time passing and fear of aging.
- Seeking new experiences and excitement.
- Impulsive decisions and behaviors.
- Changes in relationships and social circles.
- Increased risk-taking and possibly indulging in adrenaline-driven activities.
- Feelings of stagnation or boredom.
- Searching for life’s meaning and purpose.
What to Watch For:
- Has your partner started focusing more on their body, clothing, and appearance?
- Are they buying gadgets to attract others’ attention?
- Are they spending savings impulsively and recklessly?
- Do they have a greater need for fun?
- Pay attention if your partner has changed their social circle or chosen friends who are more inclined towards excitement and fun.
What You Can Do to Prevent Being Cheated On:
- Introduce physical activities into your life together. Help your partner deal with the entropy and decay of their body.
- Introduce hobbies into your life together.
- Help your partner accept changes and find meaning and beauty in things aligned with their age.
- Encourage personal development and education. These can be new focuses and inspirations for your partner.
Chances your partner will never cheat again: If you prevent it in time with the above actions, chances are he won’t cheat on you. If your partner has already cheated, the first instance can be a sobering experience.
How to Manage a Partner Who Has Fallen In Love With Someone
The Second Crisis Group:
8. People Going Through Life Transitions
During significant changes and stress, people may seek comfort, support, emotional shifts, and distractions through infidelity. Examples include losing a job, moving, or losing a loved one.
Their Main Characteristics:
- Anxiety and depression.
- Inability to find comfort.
What to Watch For:
- Obviously, look for signs that your partner is going through a very tough period, such as losing money, a job, or a loved one, or experiencing something that causes them significant stress.
- Has your partner suddenly found comfort in the company of someone who seems to say all the right things and truly understands them?
- Do they frequently discuss a new person and seek opportunities to meet them?
What You Can Do to Prevent Being Cheated On:
- Talk a lot about what your partner is going through.
- Help them navigate through it. Introduce new activities, plan together, and change things that need changing.
- Involve people who can be supportive of your partner.
- Help your partner find a new sense of purpose.
Chances your partner will never cheat again: High. These people usually cheat because the situation led to it and provided some emotional benefit, not because it’s their usual behavior (unless they are inherently prone to cheating and use stress as an excuse).
When the circumstances causing stress change, they can return to their usual values.
Specific Things To Do When Partner Falls In Love With Someone Else 1.
Various factors will influence whether these types cheat or not. Some may not have the opportunity, others have a well-developed superego, and some possess other character traits that prevent them from cheating (for instance, laziness).
So, everything mentioned should be taken with a grain of salt and considered within a broader context.
I hope you found this text helpful. Dee