Psychological insights on relationships: rejections, breakups, making relationships happy, unhealthy dynamics, and general psychology.

Why Is It Important To Go Through Bad Relationships Before Finding “The One”?

It’s like searching for your ideal apartment or job. You have to go through many different ones to find your ideal one.

The only thing is that it’s simpler with an apartment or job because you immediately see what it offers, while it’s not so obvious with people.

But you can always stick with the first person you find (with the first apartment) and not question it.

A beautiful woman thinking about relationship

Whether you go through different relationships and try different people or stick with your first person, it’s going to “hurt” in some way.

You must choose which pain is more acceptable to you.

Can unhealthy relationships become healthy?

Having just one relationship for yourself

Later, it can “hurt” in a way that makes you feel like you missed out on something. The relationship can become dull or stagnate. You may think that you have missed something or that your best years have passed. Or to be dissatisfied with yourself for setting down with the first person you met. You may think you made a mistake by not trying to find something better. A partner may stagnate or change in a way that you don’t like.

One of the more painful things here is adapting.

Going through different relationships

Is painful in many ways. Some of the more typical ones and the most painful include a bruised ego and a broken heart. Time and other resources are spent. Hopes and plans are shattered. With each breakup, we become more and more disappointed in people. We also have self-examination. Adapting and changing ourselves to be chosen.

One of the more painful things here is the feeling of rejection.

Like I said, both variants will hurt. We just have to choose the one that is more acceptable to us. The one that will hurt less. And don’t underestimate either one.

Attractive man sitting

Let’s face it, there is a way that neither of these two options hurts us.

  • If you choose only one person for yourself and find lasting peace with it – you will be happy.
  • If you go through different relationships and find peace with it – you will be fine.

But back to the topic: why do we have to go through bad relationships to find the right one for us?

Don’t forget: the people who fall off must be “bad,” hurt us, and are inadequate. We need them to be like that so that we can leave them and continue our search. Precisely because they are like that, relationships with them are bad and painful, but it only makes sense.

It is necessary to go into relationships that we do not like and in which we will be hurt in order to move on. Because if they didn’t hurt us, we would stay forever in relationships that might not be good for us.

Imagine if every partner you are in a relationship with didn’t hurt you. Well, either they would be The One, or you would have 17 of them in the first place. It would create a crowd.

Bad relationship

Like I said, both variants will hurt. We just have to choose the one that is more acceptable to us. The one that will hurt less. And don’t underestimate either one.

People hurt us precisely so that we reject them and make room for someone else.

So, yes, you have to go through bad relationships. And it’s good when bad relationships end quickly.

Never forget: you are looking for only one partner for yourself. Therefore, all others must fall away. When we let someone into our life and they have to leave, it hurts. But it is only a process that we can experience as more or less painful.

A beautiful woman sitting

If we understand it as just part of the process, we will be less hurt. If we understand it as doom, we will be very hurt.

I recommend that you understand it as part of the process you have to go through and try not to make too much of it. This text can help you with that.

Understand these searches as a quest for self-discovery.

The questions we resolve with ourselves are:

  • What kind of partners do I want to be with, and what does that say about me?
  • Which partners do I choose to stay with, and what does that indicate about me?
  • What kind of partners can I not stand?
  • If they hurt me, why did it happen?
  • What does it say about me that I’ve been rejected? What qualities do I possess?
  • What is the worst that can happen to me, and why do I take it so badly?
  • How do I recover from injuries, and at what speed?

Although all these questions sound philosophical, their answers should be practical. Also, it is best to use them to progress. The goal is to become a better partner with someone and maybe adjust your needs because they might come from something that doesn’t serve you well.

Going through bad relationships is part of dating. But to ensure they don’t just stay bad relationships in your memory, I propose extracting something positive for yourself from each one and growing.

Love you. Dee

You may also find it useful to read this article:

Why are there so many bad relationships nowdays?

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