Psychological insights on relationships: rejections, breakups, making relationships happy, unhealthy dynamics, and general psychology.

Will True Love Come Back?

Even if you doubt that they will want to come back and have serious reasons not to do it, I will tell you what you can do to make them come back.

Man and woman in love

First and foremost, I want to tell you that people who truly love someone often try to reconnect with them multiple times in life.

The reasons for this are different. People must possess objects of their desire (the ego question). They return to their former partners because they have an emotional bond with them. They overcome some current issues, so their partner finally returns to focus, etc. Or try to live differently and realize they made a mistake, so they go back to their ex-partner. Read more about why people return in this article.

However, there are, of course, people who cannot return even though they feel genuine love for someone. But for them (if it’s true love), they will be guaranteed to suffer for their object of affection, maybe their whole life.

That’s why I will, of course, also tell you what you can do if they have complex reasons why it’s not possible for them to come back.

Bad toxic relationship

We won’t analyze true love, but briefly, true love is when someone truly sees you as precious, respects you, considers you an exceptional person, wants you in their life, etc.

However, this last sentence is contentious because it’s not necessarily the case that the things we want, necessarily strive to attain. Someone who wants to drive a Mercedes or go to Hawaii doesn’t necessarily have to try to get those things. This certainly doesn’t diminish their desire for those things.

For the sake of philosophizing, someone might now say: But if they don’t want to make an effort for something, it means they don’t like it enough.

That’s not true, either. 

We often want things very, very much but lack the necessary knowledge to attain them. Now, someone might naturally ask: Why not learn how to get it? The answer is that people have blocks. There are major emotional-psychological blocks that make it the same to them, whether they can’t have something due to external factors or internal ones.

And you will see – there are so few reasons why people do not return to their true loves, that there is less chance that they will not return – than that they will.

  • Note: This still does not mean that the relationship must succeed or that the partners can find a common language. It just means that, in most cases, your loved one will still come back… if he loves you.

Why Break Up Is So Hard To Bear: Real Reasons

Reasons why true love won’t return (read them – they’re essential for your next steps).

Woman

So, true love includes the desire for something or someone. But not necessarily the attempt to have it.

As I said, people have deep internal reasons why it’s hard for them to reach the object of their love.

Two reasons are predominant:

Internal factors: 1. Lack of ability or skills. 2. Blocks

External factors: 3. That partner/true love/object of adoration did something unforgivable. 4. Something is happening in that person’s life that makes them unable to return.

Can an ex come back after a few months? Or years?

Internal factors:

1. Lack of skills

This would mean that the ex-partner does not have the ability to return. In the case of love, this would mean, for example, that the person is unable to communicate well, compromise, or lack self-esteem. They can be rigid and believe that once it’s over – it’s over (lack flexibility). They are not able to get rid of their anger or something else.

All these things significantly impact a romantic relationship. Someone who can’t communicate obviously can’t be in a relationship because they lack the ability to express their needs, feelings, etc. Someone who can’t compromise obviously lacks the ability to adapt to the other side, while someone who lacks self-esteem will see themselves as unworthy of love.

The bottom line is that some people lack the emotional – psychological skills to get back into a relationship. And this is a common reason why people don’t come back.

2. Blocks

Blocks prevent a person from taking action. And there can be very different types of blockages. For example, a person may feel blocked from taking action after a disagreement with a partner. They fear rejection, admitting they were wrong, etc.

Handsome man with eyes closed

However, let’s say an ex-partner has even more severe and extensive blocks to establishing a loving relationship. Perhaps a partner was raised with the belief that true love doesn’t exist, that people shouldn’t be trusted, that certain races, religions, and nations shouldn’t mix, or that love should look a certain way.

Or ex-partner is inclined towards masochism and suffering, so it’s natural for them to suffer for true love.

Such things create a block, even when true love appears.

In this case, there are again some blockages and limitations with which the person lives. The background is usually in learned things or in a great fear of experiencing an ego injury (which some people cannot bear).
These blockages make a person not dare to return to the person he loves, because the pain, shame, discomfort, etc. (all potential ego injuries) will be too strong.

The Best Way To Make Someone Regret Leaving You

External factors

3. The partner did something unforgivable.

People can continue to love that person but may not be able to return to them because that person disappointed them and hurt them a lot. The simplest case would be infidelity. For example, a girl cheats on her boyfriend. He continues to love her for her qualities, but he can’t return to her because infidelity is unforgivable in his value system (infidelity isn’t unforgivable to everyone).

If you are the partner who did something unforgivable, keep reading. There is hope even for your love.

4. Or something in the person’s life prevents them from returning.

The reasons can range from the fact that they are married, to the fact that they have other plans in life that do not include that partner, or to the fact that they do not have the time and energy to deal with love right now.

As much as people love a person, they are often able to put their priorities in order even when love is not on the agenda at the moment. They are aware that they risk losing this person, but there is a strong underlying reason why it seems to them that the relationship will definitely not work (at least until they resolve their own issues).

It’s like a loop: if I stay with this person – the relationship will probably suffer, and sooner or later we will break up; if I break up – the relationship will obviously suffer. But with the latter, at least we have a chance sometime in the future.

Group-of-people-are-standing

Therefore, whether true love will return: It will if ex-partner gathers the strength and courage to acquire the necessary skills and break down their blocks. It won’t if they can’t do these things (depending on their problem).

That’s why, at the very beginning of the text, I said: What we know is that true love will guarantee to suffer for you all their life.

In that case, the blog -post that you actually need to be interested in is:

How To Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You

How can you help true love come back to you

Your job is to stop seeing the person through the lens of your emotions, love, and need for that person and start seeing them through their emotional-psychological lens.

If you succeed in that, you’ll likely see which of these four variants is the most likely reason why the person isn’t returning (maybe two are combined, or all four) (if all four, then obviously, this person’s return is the most difficult).

1. The person lacks the skills to return

Group of people

Help that ex-partner acquire those skills. If they allow you to be close to them, of course. Practically, you can turn yourself into their tutor. This long and arduous process will require a lot of energy and time, (and there are no guarantees for results). But if it’s true love and worth your energy and time – that will be your path.

  • Note: You will also invest energy and time in finding someone new, so there you go – you choose.

Adapt yourself to their lack of skills.

Let’s say the person lacks communication skills or the ability to compromise; You can adapt to that and clarify that you’re willing to adjust your behavior to how they function. For instance, if someone cannot compromise, a good approach would be for you to adapt to them. If they can’t communicate, a good approach would be for you to intuit what they want without communication and provide it to them.

If the person does not even allow you to get close to them, your path will be one of patience. People cannot keep the same attitude forever. Changes occur that make them more sentimental, in greater need for love, closeness, moodier, etc.
After all, your patience and waiting (not somewhere on the sidelines, but clearly) can help a person see the world differently. With more trust and less fear. He can see how you do it and fight for true love.

If the person loves you, there is a lot of room (and it may take a lot of time) to learn new skills.

Can Someone Love You But Break Up With You?

2. If the person has blocks preventing their return

It’s obvious that a psychotherapist or counselor would be much more suitable for breaking down these blocks, but here we’re discussing what you can do.

A beautiful woman is standing

What you can do is attempt to break down these blocks through friendship and conversations. For example, if an ex-partner was raised with the belief that true love doesn’t exist (maybe their parents argued and divorced, their older sibling was cheated on, everyone around them convinced them that true love doesn’t exist…), you can succeed in breaking down their blocks by showing genuine love, pointing out examples of true love, and persistently working to dispel their beliefs.

Just your persistent presence can show a person that true love exists.

The same program can be applied to any variant of blocks. This takes time and requires your patience and energy, but it’s the only way for you to participate in helping the person break down their blocks. Psychotherapy would also take time because our beliefs, principles, and ideas are part of us and our identity. Our fears and unconscious drives are even more so.

3. You’ve done something unforgivable.

The only way is to continually seek redemption and shift your ex-partner’s focus from your wrongdoing to your good qualities.

Black woman waiting for love

You can find more about this in this text, but I recommend doing as many good things for your partner as possible, things they will appreciate.

It’s also okay to ask your partner if there’s something they would consider as redemption. If they have any suggestions , your goal is to achieve that.

If not, you can still persistently do good things. Of course, please don’t become a stalker, but let’s assume here that your partner will eventually bury your sin a little deeper, and what will be in front of them are the good things you do.

When people love someone, they are ready to cover up their sins. But only on the condition that the person gives them a strong reason for it.

4. Something is happening in the person’s life.

This is obviously the only circumstance in which you probably don’t have much influence—except that you can have it.

You can remain a friend and confidant in that person’s life. Of course, it depends on external factors, but if there’s room for it, your option is to be a part of that person’s life.

You can also be a serious counterbalance to those circumstances and a force that helps your ex-partner see the situation from new angles. In this case, you should be a strong force and stand stoically behind your view of things. Your view of things should be clear, logical, and reasoned. The idea is to talk to that ex-partner and influence them to see things from a different perspective.

If you will be your partner’s comrade, if you will encourage him and improve his mood, or if you will help him solve his problem faster, you can become irreplaceable in his life.

On the other hand, if your ex does not let you near him, constantly communicate that you are there, that you are friends, and that you are waiting for him for a friendly conversation. When it comes to a friendly conversation, we have a starting point, but don’t forget that with people like this, you often have to go very slowly and very gently… so as not to scare them.

Why Would Someone Who Loves Me Leave Me?

Man thinking about his toxic relationship

I hope you found this article helpful. And I hope you’ve also caught onto my optimism. I’ve always been a supporter of that saying: It’s over once the referee blows the final whistle.

In this case, my suggestion is that you be the referee when it comes to the end. Maybe the game will last a little longer.

So we can conclude:

  • People often return to their true love.
  • However, they don’t have to because they have internal reasons.
  • If love is true, it will likely remain forever (either separately or in a relationship with that person).
  • You can do some things to try to regain true love.
  • The things you’ll do require time and energy.
  • But giving up on your true love and seeking someone new also requires time and energy.
  • Well, you choose what you will spend your time and energy on

Love you. Dee.

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