There is a precise way of thinking that reveals how to be happy during the holidays, even if you are alone. This approach is not reserved only for holidays; if you adopt it, it will benefit you fantastically throughout your entire life.
It makes a difference between having many good days and having many bad days in life. I hope you will like it and that it will be beneficial for you.
📌 This post will not focus on what you should do to be happy during the holidays but rather on how you should think to be happy (not just for the holidays 😊).
Things we haven’t gotten or goals we haven’t accomplished are frequently the cause of our unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
Because of this, people who desire a relationship for themselves but haven’t succeeded in finding a suitable partner are at risk of spending these holidays dissatisfied.
Every project consists of multiple phases, and this one is no different. Therefore, the first phase is to:
Our thoughts and perception of things have the power to change the world around us.
1. Presume…
Believe/ convince yourself/ imagine that being alone now – can change very quickly. You might be rolling your eyes because you’ve been trying to find someone for yourself for years, but today’s focus won’t be on that. On this blog, we’ll also delve into how to find someone for yourself, how to be more successful in the dating world, and which techniques work and which don’t… But today, our focus is solely on presumption.
If you do this, you’ll realize that this might be the last time in your life that you spend the holidays alone.
I understand that it’s not easy for you to think in this way and believe in it. Especially if you’ve desired a relationship for a long time and haven’t achieved it. However, for the sake of happier holidays, temporarily overcome your doubts and do what I’ve asked you. I also must mention that this desperate desire for a romantic relationship at this moment hinders our project and makes you intensely focused on just that one question: how and when will I find someone for myself? It prevents you from seeing other important things. In popular terms: You can’t see the forest for the trees. That’s why the truly first necessary thing for what I’m suggesting to work is to take your focus and thoughts away from how to find someone for yourself and start thinking in this way.
The fact is that people find it challenging to predict the future, yet they have a better memory of the past. That’s why it seems to them that what they already know is more likely to happen in the future.
2. Imagine…
There are two states: 1. being alone or 2. being with someone.
Imagine that being alone is like standing in a yard where you don’t want to be, but for some reason, you can’t leave it at the moment. However, right next to you is a yard where you want to be.
As soon as you solve the reasons that keep you from leaving the first yard, you will move to the second yard.
For the purposes of our project, it is necessary to envision a positive outcome so that the mind can be free to engage in other matters (because it typically focuses on issues for which it seeks solutions).
Also, imagine that once you enter the second yard, you may never be able to return to the first.
To cut to the chase: the first yard is Being Alone, and the second yard is Being in a Relationship. If, by any chance, you enter a serious relationship, get pregnant, or get married – you might never be alone again in your life.
You can (and should) absolutely work on resolving the reasons why you are where you are (in the first yard/alone), but today our focus is on something other than that. Until the end of the holidays, we will only focus on how to be happy and how to be happy alone.
Why is it essential for me to remind you of this? Because from the moment you stop being alone (and I genuinely have a lot of experience to teach you how), from that moment onward, you will never have the absolute freedom you have today. Perhaps you’re tired of freedom because you’ve been free for years and no longer see its value. But more likely, you’re so preoccupied with looking at the other yard that you can’t see everything in your solitary life.
Why acceptance is one of the most important things in life
Here you can:
- Manage your time as you wish
- Explain nothing to anyone
- Justify yourself to no one
- Adapt to no one
- Dress up as if for a masquerade or not wash your hair, i.e., do exclusively what you want.
- Eat an entire pie alone, leaving no piece for a partner or children.
- Endure no one’s holiday meltdowns and tantrums.
Many people come to me for consultations, struggling with all these aspects of the other yard (lack of time for themselves, adapting, compromises, etc.). Just yesterday, I had a conversation with a guy who really wants to spend the holidays with his friends, drinking and having a good time. However, his girlfriend made it clear that if he does that and doesn’t spend the holidays with her, their relationship is over. Naturally, he asked me for advice, and now two people are working on this problem: how to do what you want for the holidays without ruining your life.
However, you are in a different position (which he would now give everything for during the holidays) and already have the opportunity not to adapt to anyone and do exactly what you want. You don’t see how good your position is because you are so consumed by wistfully looking at the other yard (‘I wish I were in a relationship now.’) that you ignore all this, which at least 50% of people in relationships long for.
And so, the third step for how to be happy alone is:
3. Consider/decide to make the most of this
Try to make the most of every situation and miss as few days in life as possible.
Today, I suggest that you use your last days in that solitary yard in the best possible way because, as I mentioned, if you cross over to the other yard tomorrow, you may never return to this one. So, make use of what you have now. This is a general rule for everything in life: when in Rome, eat spaghetti and don’t daydream about Thai cuisine or how much you’d like to go to Thailand.
*If you don’t do this, God might punish you by giving you, in two weeks, a serious relationship that’s meant to last forever. After a few years, you might find yourself consulting with experts or complaining to friends that you have no freedom and always must do what others want 😉.
So, let’s prevent that in advance. Step number:
4. Implement
Remind yourself of this process every day.
Stop looking over the fence and realize that this may be the last time in your life that you can do exactly what you want for the holidays.
You have days off from excellent programs on TV and in the cities, but even if you don’t have them, you can have an excellent program for yourself in your mind. In that solitude, there is so much beautiful and pleasant stuff. You can undoubtedly be relaxed and content. Being with someone implies that you never fully relax, and anyone who dates or is married can confirm this.
And let’s be clear: I’m not advocating for you to stay alone. There are a lot of beauty and advantages to being in a relationship, but being alone has exceptional things.
I started the list above, and I’ll finish it now. When you’re alone, you can:
- Manage your time as you wish
- Explain nothing to anyone
- Justify yourself to no one
- Adapt to no one
- Dress up as if for a masquerade or not wash your hair, i.e., do exclusively what you want.
- Eat an entire pie alone, leaving no piece for a partner or children.
- Endure no one’s holiday meltdowns and tantrums.
- Sing loudly
- Perform your cute, funny dance moves
- Play games all night
- Drink too much without worrying if someone will see and remember what you did
- Go to bed early
- Save some money that you would spend on a celebration
- Cry during a movie and not ruin your makeup
- Be unresponsive
- …
There is so much good and pleasant stuff in the yard of solitude that even if you hurry to leave, don’t despair while you’re there, but take everything you can from that yard. Because when you step into the other yard… you may never have all this available again.
Love you. Dee
