This is one atypical suggestion on how to get over rejection from a crush. It might be a little unfair to the other side, but the idea is to get you better as quickly as possible.
To get over rejection from a crush, we have to take a little of the shine from the crush who rejected us and see whose love we suffer for. For which person do we suffer for not accepting us?
If we manage to break through your emotional blockage and think in the way I recommend below, we will see things more objectively, and it will be helpful. And if we continue to think like that, that person will become irrelevant (which they actually are all the time).
Why We Are In Love With Someone – Psychological Explanation
So, How To Get Over Rejection From a Crush
Let’s consider first those who rejected you.
We will assume that some of you were involved with truly remarkable and unique individuals, not easily found. The thought that these extraordinary people rejected you might now be unbearable. You will never find another person like that extraordinary one.
But you see, I would never go against myself in favor of others, especially when the situation is irreparable. I would never leave something unfinished to torment me forever (like the thought that I’ve lost a person I can never find again).
Particularly to prevent such lifelong self-torment, you have something very powerful at your disposal. And that is the fact that all people, even the most perfect ones, have their flaws.
📌 It is interesting to think about this topic in this way: People who strive for perfection or have succeeded in reaching it, have their own reasons for doing so. In that case, it is fun and useful to think: What are their reasons for striving for perfection so much?
Without speculating, let’s acknowledge that we all have imperfections. And if we know that everyone has something not so lovely in their character, we can assume that these flaws will eventually come to light. And it is possible that we will not like their flaws.
So the first step is: imagine or presume their flaws. From there, you can be creative.
- The goal is: Not to torment yourself with self-blame for the rest of your life.
- The process is: Discover (recognize, devise…) potential flaws of that person (which you’ve probably already sensed).
- The continuation is: Engage in that narrative… Stick to that narrative whenever the thought I miss this person crosses your mind I miss this person…
And if you can’t find them, assume them and ease your life based on those assumptions. This approach is more realistic than your idealization, and you can take it as you please.
- And even though a certain percentage of you might be ready to write me letters on this topic, like, “This is fabrication!”. But fabrication is considering the person you’ve idealized as perfect.
If you are reading this text because you’ve experienced rejection at work, the same holds true for a job. Even the best jobs you’ve chosen have their drawbacks – ask the people who have left them.
How to get over rejection from a crush 1.
Understand Yourself and How You Feel When You Are Rejected
Practically everyone has experienced rejection in life. And now, the person who rejected you is insignificant (even though it seemed challenging to overcome in the beginning).
This obviously leads us to the only logical conclusion: that person was, in fact, always irrelevant. And the reason we suffered so deeply for them lies within us, not tied to them.
There are several different reasons why it’s hard to get over rejection from a crush, and each one needs to be unearthed from an individual.
For what this text can cover, we’ll mention two opposing variants:
- The first is that no one has ever done this to us in life, and now we’re in shock.
- The second variant is that we can’t accept being rejected because it has happened to us too many times in life.
People Who Have Never Been Rejected
The simplest explanation for this first variant is that it is a consequence of misguided parenting, where a child has never experienced even the semblance of real life.
But, in its long duration, life is full of unpleasant things—rejections, criticism, belittlement, aggression, and exploitation. Life will inevitably expose us to unnecessary traumas and unfair relationships.
Such individuals often try to make things work for others, believing that problems can always be fixed as they were in their family, but this approach can often fail.
People Who Have Been Rejected Too Many Times
The second category involves those who have faced repeated rejection, criticism, or hurt.
Their capacity to handle such experiences diminishes over time, like an overflowing cup with no room for more criticism. The ego becomes intolerant to any negativity, deepening old wounds.
If you find yourself in this group, know it is fixable. It’s crucial to recognize that the pain you feel from rejection comes from an ego hurt rather than a legitimate issue.
How to get over rejection from a crush 2.
Look at People Who Have Rejected You
In reality, people rarely reject us for who we are, and incomparably more often due to their preferences.
📌 We personally find this act very difficult because we are turned towards ourselves—our pain, sadness, disappointment, etc.
We are deeply focused on how we feel when we are rejected. However, if we were to shift the focus to other people, which is very difficult due to our emotional blocks and lack of information on their part, we would see how things look very different in reality.
And let me immediately resolve the sadness or discomfort you felt when you heard that you were not what your loved one wanted you to be.
What if they want you to be very kinky? Or very aggressive? Maybe be free-spirited and let them do whatever they want. Or to never criticize them, not even for things that obviously bother you. Or to tattoo your entire body?(Find your own example of something they might want from you that is unacceptable to you.) What then? How is that resolved, or how do you become that?
The idea that someone won’t accept you because you’re not perfect naturally hurts.
But what if what they want from you isn’t so perfect but rather very down-to-earth, humanly unattractive, and perhaps even unacceptable for you? Often, it is.
If you look at things from this realistic perspective, you will find that people have different preferences than ours. Something that is perfectly okay for them may even be shocking to you. If you look at it this way, you might not even want to be what they would like you to be.
📌 Of course, if you recognize within yourself some features, habits, or behaviors that are socially unacceptable, you should change them.
The third step is: understand that they rejected you because of their preferences, not because of your flaws.
How And Why Did Their Value Suddenly Increase?
Is another question to ask yourself to get over rejection from a crush.
Now, the problem is that the value of a person who rejects us suddenly increases compared to all those who want us.
Because by rejecting us, they are saying, “I am better than you. Because I choose who I want to be with, not you, it makes me better than you. You are less valuable.” (We hear all this subconsciously.). (People who want us say, “We are equals.”)
And suddenly, it becomes essential for us to prove ourselves to that magnificent being who communicated, “I am better than you.” Not because they are really better than us, but because they want something different. Can you imagine that?!
Furthermore, it effectively addresses the internal issue we identified earlier, whether it’s something that has never happened to you or something that always happens to you.
This combination makes us feel compelled to win the love and attention of that person at all costs because our ego injury is too great.
The fourth step is to understand why their value suddenly increased.
What Causes Obsession With a Certain Person
You Need to Look at It Objectively To Get Over Rejection From a Crush
If we objectively looked at all this, we would see that the person in front of us who rejects us is an insignificant person full of uncertainties, internal problems, flaws, as we said, and struggles.
A person who never existed in our lives before that encounter. So they are practically not important for our life and do not affect it. Let’s recall long-forgotten rejectors who seemed important at the time.
And then we realize that it’s a wound within us, for which we don’t need that person to heal it but rather psychotherapy.
Or, even better, another wonderful person who will say, “You are wonderful just as you are, and I want you just as you are.”. Only these pants don’t look good on you, and we’ll fix that; everything else is beautiful and desirable.”
We also realize that the love of the person who does not accept us will neither ennoble us nor make us whole or more secure. But only more frightened. Considering they didn’t want us once, and we now carry that fear of rejection within us: Will they like me this time? Have I finally become adequate?
By changing our perspective, having conversations with someone intelligent and well-intentioned, observing that person, and engaging in intense self-reflection, we can come to an incredibly pleasant idea, which is: That it’s okay when someone doesn’t want us.
They want something else (this conclusion comes from a sharp look into them 😊 ). We don’t need that someone to feel loved.
The truth is, we need someone who will accept us and work with us on us (since these rejectors question our entire personality). We need someone who will help us understand ourselves and clearly see that emerging wound.
So the fifth step is to:
Change the Perspective and The Way We See Them
To get over rejection from a crush.
So, the essence is that if someone rejects us, it’s okay. We cannot know their reasons, but we will not attribute them to ourselves.
What I want to say is that it’s perfectly okay when someone doesn’t want you.
As the old and wise in my country would say, “Kiss and leave.” or “Travel, monk, don’t worry about the monastery.” There are always other good monks who will stay to guard the monastery.
Or, in our case, good other people who belong to us more and will help us strengthen and smooth out all our internal struggles and fears. Just by accepting us as we are and staying by our side.
Love you. Dee
