This is a genuine list of things that need to be done to start appealing to people. This list of things is clear, and their application gives good results. It will help you understand how to stop getting rejected all the time.

Self-Confidence

Is the first thing to work on to stop getting rejected

Confidence sends a very attractive message to people. That you know what you are doing, that you are sure of yourself, that you are not easy to knock down, that you are a fighter, that you have a lot of experience, that you stick to yourself, that you are proud, etc. Dozens more messages like this. And as you can see, they are all very attractive. That is why it is necessary to work on self-confidence.

1. Self-confidence is gained through repetition.

The more we do something, the better our confidence in that thing becomes. When we first played billiards, we lacked confidence, but by the hundredth time, we had it.

The more you repeat things, the more confident you become in them because you know what you’re doing.

📍So, a large part of self-confidence is repetition.

What is the best way to gain self-confidence?

2. Self-confidence is gained through correcting moves.

It’s not worth constantly repeating the same things. It’s necessary to get informed about how to change things and implement them.

• We can inform ourselves about how to change. As with everything, this is the slowest method. If we want to draw well, we’ll progress slowly if we search for tutorials on YouTube ourselves.
• We can get information from other people who are good at what we want to do.
• We can ask the person who rejected us. But that is not recommended because the answers are often insincere (the person doesn’t want to tell you the real reasons) and lead us in the wrong direction.

📍However, a significant part of self-confidence is understanding the subject well and correcting ourselves accordingly to what we’ve learned.

3. Self-confidence grows through repairing our self-image.

• Wherever a negative image of ourselves comes from, it is changeable and fixable.
• Repairing our self-image is a complex matter composed of several instances.
• You can read more about it in this text, but in short:

Talking to ourselves about our positive traits. It’s really necessary to talk to ourselves and praise ourselves to improve our self-image.

Actions and deeds serve to change things externally. Although the internal world is the most important, a lot can help if the external representation is also good.

Destroying old beliefs that speak negatively about us. This is best done with the help of experts who will clearly describe the person or situation that led to your lack of self-confidence. This person can be someone else or you.

Involving friends to talk about us. Friends are not necessary to work on this, but things always go faster when more people are involved.

Stop saying bad things about yourself. When you tell others bad things about yourself, you’re also saying the same things to yourself.

Stop doing bad things to yourself. Because by doing so, we’re telling ourselves that we deserve something bad. Which implies that we are bad.

Psychotherapy. Its advantage is that it lasts long enough to find the best solution and technique for you and to hear the right words.

How to become more assertive

Be More to Stop Getting Rejected

This concept is simple. The more spheres you cover, the more successful you will be with people. If you’re attractive because you work out at the gym, you’ll be attractive to a certain percentage of people who like gym-goers. However, those who value education or success in business will find you less attractive. If you’re educated, you’ll obviously appeal to people who value that, but you’ll probably put off those who prefer physical attractiveness. The same goes for finances, humor, success, clothing, etc. The more spheres we cover, the more chances we’ll have with different people.

Also, remember that some people want more qualities in one person. That’s why attractive, highly educated, well-off people with influence are the most appealing. They cover almost all spheres of life.

📍So, if you want to be rejected less, become more. The good news is that it only takes a few years to become very good or even excellent in many areas of life. And thus, it is very attractive to the vast majority of people. Invest time in that.

Give People What They Need

I’m not talking about what they tell you they want. But about what you recognize that they actually want through their behavior, what they say, what they admire, what they plan, etc.
Align with that and the person will want you.

1. What you know they need.

You can assess this based on their interests. It’s clear that someone who loves watching football wants to go to matches. Someone who loves to travel wants to go on trips, etc. You must give people what they love and value, not what you think will be interesting to them.

2. What is unknown, but you can see and hear it.

This is assessed by careful observation. People talk about themselves, and when they do, we can hear their desires and fears. For fears, of course, we’ll give them something to help with them, while for desires, we’ll fulfill those desires.

If a person talks about wanting a family, become someone who can provide that, of course, but let’s go one step further.

If a person talks about their friend getting married at forty and how that’s a good plan, that’s probably what your interlocutor wants. I gave this as an example, but it could be anything a person speaks positively about (without directly referring to them) or negatively (they are likely sending you a message about what they won’t tolerate).

Also, by observing what they smile at, react positively to, and react negatively to, and listening to passing comments, understanding that everything can be subliminal messages, etc. – based on such things, we can see what their inclinations are.

• People need various things: advice, good company, closeness, not being alone, and respect. As you can see, these are all somewhat abstract things, but they can be recognized if you observe the person carefully.
• Sometimes it’s really complicated and people actually want the things they talk about negatively. You should pay attention to the passion with which they talk about them.

📍If you give people what they need, you’ll become very attractive and hard to reject. There are two ways to find out what they need: informing and listening carefully

Become an Interesting Conversationalist

You can become an interesting conversationalist in two ways:

• By becoming very knowledgeable about the areas that person prefers. Read enough books, watch enough documentaries, etc. People like it when someone brings expertise to their topic, when they can talk to someone about things that interest them, and when they hear something new.

• By becoming an excellent listener who asks many follow-up questions to get the other person talking. People like to talk about things that interest them and to show themselves as experts in them. Also, keep in mind that people often don’t have someone to talk to about their interests, problems, passions, etc. You can become someone they talk to and thus be unique in their life.

You have two ways to become a great conversationalist. Either learn a lot about the subject or become a very good listener who asks lots of logical questions to satisfy your curiosity.

Present Yourself as Fascinating

Just the other day, a client of mine said, “I didn’t like that guy at all. But then he started telling me that he goes hiking only when the clouds are coming from the left side because the clouds can predict the weather, and he caught my eye. He became much more attractive to me because he knows such things.”

• My client is attracted to an active lifestyle. So when that guy started talking about hiking and clouds, she heard a lot of things that she needed. This confirms at least several hypotheses from this text. Listening, being a good conversationalist, being fascinating, becoming what people want, etc.

People enjoy spending time with those who are better than them. Not better in a way that makes them feel inferior and humiliated, but better in a way that they are experts in something. If someone ahead of you is confident in what they say or do, they can easily earn your respect. Make an effort to excel in a particular area and talk about it.

Also, people crave approval from others. You can expect someone to talk to their friends about you, looking for confirmation that you are a good choice. That’s why it’s good to give that person fascinating things so that they can pass that information on to their friends, and their friends will agree that you’re a good choice.

📍If you are fascinating in some field, they’ll get the chance to enrich themselves with you but also to talk about you to others = they get confirmation from others that you’re worth their attention.

The Gym is Always an Good Option

It’s a universal rule that people like those who exercise. This is due to our ancient evolutionary psychological instinct. In the past, physically active people had an easier time providing food, defending their partner, being healthier and longer-lived, and having a better chance of survival. These qualities have been important for centuries, and we haven’t evolved to overcome them. So, exercise, and you’ll stimulate people’s evolutionary instincts when they see you.

Also, exercise says a lot about our character. People who exercise are disciplined, persistent, love themselves, are hardworking, can endure unpleasant things, have energy, etc. Those are all desirable qualities for coexistence.

• You can notice that many (even most) celebrities exercise. The reason is, of course, to live longer and healthier, but also to appeal to many people because their job depends on it.

📍If you want to be less rejected, take sports seriously, and you’ll become attractive to many people.

Power and finances if you’re male; look and sexual appeal if you’re female.

Of course, there are many other desirable qualities (education, intelligence, etc.), but these cover more or less the target groups.

There are reverse cases and all cases in between, but this is some traditional order that is practically embedded in our genetics. We recognize powerful men as capable and attractive women as healthy, which in the future means healthy offspring.

Remember that we always revolve around our biology, nature, and psychology.

Women have always loved powerful men who can provide resources for family and offspring. Being able to provide resources obviously meant security and survival. Also, if a man is able to provide resources, it says about him that he is intelligent and capable.

Men have always wanted to spread their genes. A beautiful woman means healthy offspring, while a sexy appearance means that a woman attracts attention; it also means openness and sexual accessibility.

• I don’t want to hurt anyone. Here I am talking about human nature and psychological evolutionary triggers.

📍If you are a man – become rich and powerful, if you are a woman – become beautiful, attractive and sexier.

If you want to become attractive to a large number of people and be less rejected, this is a pretty well-marked path.

Today, we have opportunities for everything. We must also work on our physical appearance, finances, and status. You only need a few years for any of these areas, so if you want people to reject you less, I wholeheartedly suggest dedicating a few years to one of these suggestions… or even better, to all of them.

Love you. Dee.