Psychological insights on relationships: rejections, breakups, making relationships happy, unhealthy dynamics, and general psychology.

Partner Went Back To Their Ex – What To Do

This method works well for all variants with a third party involved. It works well for their old loves (ex-partners of theirs) but also for new ones. The exact steps of what to do if a partner went back to their ex.

Beautiful black woman with eyes closed; partner went back to their ex

Before anything else, it’s important to comprehend these two forces at play in a person when a ghost from their past possesses them:

The force of the feeling of inferiority and the force of the injured ego.

In short, the feeling of inferiority comes from our inferior role in childhood, when our objects of worship were people who made us feel inferior to ourselves. And the sense of a wounded ego requires that the person be accepted by the person who rejected them.

Read more about it in this text; believe me, it is very useful to understand that.

Now, what should you do if you were dumped because of their ex.


In 95% of cases, these kinds of relationships break up sooner or later.

Your partner and that ex of theirs once didn’t get along well enough to end the relationship. Since I work in psychological counseling, I can tell you that people change very slowly, very little (only 10-15%), or never.
Changing our characters is a difficult thing because something we live with our whole lives is changing.
Now that you know this, you can imagine two of the same, unchanged people who found themselves in a “different” relationship.

Of course, the relationship cannot change because a different relationship requires changed people. Again, people change very little or not at all. If they are not different, and therefore the relationship is not different, they will run into the same problems that previously separated them.

Essentially, it’s up to you to wait for that to happen. And what can you do if they go back to their ex is:

Why Break Up Is So Hard To Bear: Real Reasons

If your ex-partner and their “obsession” are still together

In this case, your absolute best choice is to completely ignore their relationship. Do not check stories, messages, calls, send subliminal messages, etc. This way, you’ll achieve:


  • You won’t show your ex how important he or she is to you – another ego injury released.
  • You’ll avoid showing how important they are to you.


  • That new couple won’t have a chance to make you the enemy of their relationship.
  • You’re not an enemy of their relationship; they don’t have to unite and defend it against awful you.
  • That person doesn’t have to fiercely defend their partner from you when you’re already uninterested.
  • That old-new partner of your ex (I should have called them person A, person B, etc. 🙂 ) will soon start to wonder why you’re not interested and will begin to question the quality of their partner sooner or later.
  • Since your ex is not focused on you and your “haunting,” they have the opportunity to see their old-new partner clearly. And there is a lot to see.
  • Because you’re not a common enemy, they don’t have to deal with you. And then they have to deal with each other, and there will be many confrontations with the truth.


  • Give this new couple some time. People very quickly start to discover old, unpleasant things about themselves.
  • When old, uncomfortable things start to surface (and they will, since nothing is distracting them), they will remember why they broke up in the first place.
A beautiful woman

There is a chance that this time the partners will try at all costs to maintain the relationship, of course. It is possible that they have tried different partners (including you) and realized that they are best for each other.

However, as much as they try to maintain a relationship, it does not mean that the relationship will be different from the one they had previously. The relationship will be exactly the same, but one person will adapt to the other. Which means that person will shrink themselves to accommodate.

It’s not exactly a happy solution, and in that constellation, at least one partner is unhappy, but people even choose to completely adapt, and give up their happiness, just to be with a certain person. Yes, people are strange.

However, if no one adapts, which a huge percentage of people will do, that relationship will fall apart. You just have to wait it out.

They (your ex and their ex they got back to) broke up again

  • The method below can be applied even after a person returns after several years.

There, we expect the person to contact you. People are always recycling ex-partners.

The partner chose someone else instead of us

Of course, they’ll reach out to you to comfort their ego. Because they remember that you were once crazy about them, and they need someone’s adoration to heal their wound. If something like this happens, here’s a small strategy:

First, from the beginning, prove how amazing you are to that person.

Be excellent. Be beautiful. Be exceptional. By yourself and towards that person. Be a friend and show concern for them.

  • If this seems like too much to you, just be very kind when they reach out to you. You don’t have to initiate contact, but be the epitome of adoration when they do.
Black woman after break up because of hiss ex

The idea is for them to trust that you’ll be their shoulder to cry on, (and they count on it because they assume you’re still in love with them. They think that by being present in your life again, they’re doing you a favor and that you’ll return their passion). In any case, get them used to your adoration and let them know that you’re there for them.

  • The absolute recommendation is to keep everything in a friendly relationship, primarily for yourself. If this whole project fails for the reasons I’ll mention below, you’ll regret devoting yourself to this person more than friendship.
  • On the other hand, if all this fails, you’ll rationalize to yourself that you’re still a good person in the end and have left a good impression of yourself.

After a few months of this treatment, start to withdraw

Suddenly, start making up reasons why you can’t meet. The reasons can be unconvincing and minor, but it’s essential for the person to feel like they’re losing you now.

  • It’s important not to do this out of anger but out of disinterest and boredom. You should give the impression that you find them boring.
  • You’ll have to maintain this sense of rejection for a long time. So, let’s talk about that for a bit.

How To Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You

Handsome man standing

If you return to a relationship with this person too quickly, your whole plan will be unconvincing. They won’t even notice this change.

That’s why it’s necessary for this period of your rejection of them to last a while so that the person feels real ego pain and begins to feel inferior to you.

Remember, while you were their friend, they felt like they were doing you a favor by being present and that you were still interested in them, and they also felt that they could “take” you whenever they wanted.

You have to maintain this state of disinterest and boredom for some time, at least a month, and then you need to step up with the points from this text.

  • This also applies if your partner is still in a relationship with you and is obsessed with another person (his or her ex).

How does this work?

  • Now the person no longer has any doubts about their ex-partner.
  • They owe you for the previous betrayal.
  • You can also count on feelings of guilt and remorse.
  • They had a new opportunity to see how wonderful you are compared to their ex.
  • They realize that they lost a lot (perhaps the best person in the world) because of the person they failed with. Therefore, not only did that relationship fail, but it also cost them a lot.
  • Your value has now increased tremendously because of all this.

Why did we mention those two forces at the beginning

A beautiful proud woman

It’s crucial for you to get into a situation where you inflict the same ego injury (like the other person) on them so that they become obsessed with you.

There’s hardly a mistake with the ego. It always deals with the most recent injury; the one who caused it is the most important.

It could easily happen that the person who caused this reaction (your ex’s ex😉) might fall into oblivion due to your treatment, and now you’re the burning topic.

Given that you’ve provided a sense of rejection (ego injury) and a feeling of inferiority (the first love from childhood), you can easily become the person he is now thinking about intensely.

Attractive man sitting

Actually, it could be even worse: You used to really accept that partner of yours and be crazy about them, and now you don’t want them anymore after spending these months with them. You see them, too 😢 (as that other person also saw them). But the thing is, with you, there is a chance for improvement (because you once wanted them), so they become obsessed with fixing your impression of them.

  • Note: I do not recommend going back to partners who left us because of their exes. Although it’s still a better option than those who left us for someone new they don’t even know. But anyway, in my opinion, it’s too much of a waste of time and energy. You will put a lot of energy into fixing something that is broken. And you can use that same energy to find someone else. Another text that may help you: Why do I want someone who doesn’t want me?

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for all of this to be successful. Hug you. Dee.

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